Shaq says the bank is closed to Shaunie

From the Ledger-Enquirer.com

Shaq and Shaunie's ride ends

No matter how the settlement goes down, Shaquille O'Neal will pay if he divorces Shaunie, his wife of five years.

The Miami Heat center said in a petition filed Tuesday, "The marriage between the parties is irretrievably broken," The Miami Herald reported.

" 'Marriage is irretrievably broken' could mean that Shaq has shacked out someplace else," said Dr. Richard Wilmarth, a family therapist and clinical director of Counseling Associates in Opelika, Ala. "He may be trying to get out of it the easy way."

Shaq and Shaunie also have a "Cohabitation/Prenuptial Agreement and Acknowledgement of Property Disclosure and Waiver of Further Disclosure," the Herald reported. Will this make getting out easier?

Wilmarth said the couple are probably in what he calls the constriction phase of their relationship.

"Either that or they have learned that somebody's mother was right -- the honeymoon is over and they never should have married that person in the first place," said Wilmarth, who's also a professor at Central Alabama Community College and an adjunct professor at Troy University, Phenix City, where his Marriage, Family and Sex class begins this weekend.

He said relationship theory defines three phases: expansion, constriction and resolution.

"Expansion is that ooey-gooey feeling. Love everything. Everything is right. We love to be with each other. We talk to each other. We interact. We trust each other. It's all great and wonderful. And we pay a lot of attention to each other," he said.

"You've moved into constriction when you start focusing on what you ain't getting, instead of what you are getting," he said. "That's when you start noticing he didn't remember a birthday. He's not rubbing your back as much as he used to."

You now realize the person is human -- not perfect.

The constriction phase usually lasts for a long time.

"People who end up getting divorces are in constriction," Wilmarth said. "They don't realize that's a normal course for all relationships to go through. This is when you realize there is a total package -- rather than the perfect package you saw when you first started hanging with them."

If couples stay together long enough, they move into the final stage, Wilmarth said.

"That's when you make a commitment. In resolution you agree to dislike the person -- or certain things about them -- but to continue to love them."

But when you throw money into marriage, you're not talking about relationships, you're talking economics, Wilmarth said.

"It depends upon the conditions upon which you are filing, but when you say 'irretrievably broken,' you're basically saying you're in constriction," he said. "And when couples don't realize this is a normal course, they don't focus on the kinds of things couples can do to begin to accept one another."

For instance, in cases where people have extramarital relationships, they begin to believe they really should be with that "other" person because the extramarital relationship stays in expansion -- the first phase. It's all good, all positive attention all the time.

"That's why affairs last so long -- it's easy because it's always about the positive when all you're doing is shacking up with them on the weekend," Wilmarth said.

We'll have to wait for the details of Shaq's divorce, he said.

But it's going to cost him.